Waiting for direct evidence of disassociation ...

by  jeanne rené  

maniacally tap-tap her manicured nails
across formica wasteland
sequential tip-touch drone
i observe with reluctant objectivity
her fever pitching
eye socket restraining civility

it roars
the bright white chatter
her click click click unraveling

a distorted blink;
"Save me"

         can’t save you
    safe...I'll keep you...

my hand trespasses
swimming through the buzz
gripping her knuckles
massaging the welted kinks of depravity
relentless tears
laying flat irrepressible coils of Larina

"Why does the crow rest at the top of a tree?"

           I’m not sure.
     ...to look for food?

so it comes
a pause
unconscious calm
a silence
momentary respite
an insipid quiet
barely long enough
to ask for forgiveness

until she smiles:
"Crows perch on top
and chaw at our shadows."

my hand tightens
her lip trembles
explanations snapping
quavering filaments of matter and deed



Note: Occasionally I worked with teens with the onset of schizophrenia.  I did not use the actual name in this poem.

 

Bird in my corner ...

by jeanne rené

bird in my corner

cross-legged
on high pile carpet
deep in my bungalow air
where was I then
where was I when pretty boy
        bounced off my walls
  hyped-up          hopped-up
            psyched-up
tripped-out
                          wasted
waded way deep in love loft
mattress matrimony
      hey    hey    hey
i was there man

tip toeing on the typewriter
pounding the words out
hammering my heart flat
their hungry idioms
blew in thru my window
all the pretty boys
    cleft-chinned opiates
singing high notes in my melody
 one        two   three    four
       knocking at my door
   damn

and charlie parker
he was cool
      just kept playing in my corner
set himself up at my table
sat down to my music
running his fingers up and down so sweet
      pumping his manhood     into the tune

must
slide the lattice      down on the shutters
dim the day
one more eulogy to write
      where was I then
where was I when words fit in two packs a day
choke on my smoke
dine on my dance
            hey     hey     hey
devil loved my laugh man

and The Bird . . . .
he went on spinning his sax
in my corner
smiling
loving my laugh
just like the devil
and crying one more riff
     
      he told me
its gonna be alright girl


 7/04