Introduce Yourself by Diane

... us ... in the kitchen ... the heart of the home.

August 30, 1999

 

Inside my head I can still hear:

Grandma telling me to shut the door in Portuguese.

Priests chanting, sing songing and the congregation responding as one.

Music at the fiestas.

Two languages playing charades.

Grandpa swearing in Italian.

Clinking bowls, cups, forks and knives.

Cousins, everybody's children.

Papa's whispered prayers and the creak-crack of the rocking chair.

The stories -- the tell me again stories -- the pass down to your children stories --

stories that give color to your heritage: 

Voices painting pictures of immigrants, stowaways, 

crowded boats and lost identities.

Voices that created underground stills camouflaged with chicken coups.

Bootleggers who went to jail and murderers who didn't. 

Inside my head I can still smell:

The dampness in the cellar.

Cigars.

Grandma's dress.

Apple pies.

Fava beans, linguica and sweetbread with the eggs cooked in.

Biscotti, cuichidadies and pezellies.

Red sauce boiling and pasta, pasta, pasta.

Inside my head I can still see:

So much vino that uncles forgot who they were.

Hands that talked.

Pin striped suits and tipped fedoras.

Great aunts smiling with bright red lips 

and shadowed eyelids through the mesh of netted hats.

Fox furs with the feet still attached.

Aprons and clotheslines.

Candles and statues, holy water and rosary beads.

Poker games, brandy and five o'clock shadows.

I see the women busy ... always.

I see the men in white undershirts and pleated pants - huddled - watching - owning. 

In my head I am:

Whole, with first hand remnants of a culture that is a part of me.

A link connecting my children with themselves. 

... with my cousin, Diane Souza

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Portrait by Monet Uninvited

 

Claude Monet: Woman Seated Under Willows 1880

~by jeanne rené~

Portrait by Monet Uninvited

Breathing oxygen of oils and turpentine,
I waited,
Unfinished shade of monotone,
Left against a dusty wall
Gathering time
And moot dreams.

Until that night
He entered uninvited,
Scattering jars of exhausted brushes,
And crusted palettes in a fury of salvation.
Ripping moth worn drapery,
Pushing out stale air through cracked glass.

Lifting me to an empty easel
He postured gaily,
“Ah, gray child
You have stayed to be my masterpiece.”
And threw colors at my canvas.

“I will paint you as light, my dear,
Place rose red blush to your cheek.
Silhouette drawn with blossom lined path
Under the shade of old yews and muted greenery,
And a delicate bridge to linger the afternoon,
a crossing over lazy water lilies, will be my gift.”

In dreams
He creates without thought.
A dress of purple iris,
A cape of swaying poppies,
And tresses of yellow poplar leaves
dancing on an fitful breeze . . . his eye renders.

“I will give you dainty parasol clouds
Drifting above meandering rivers
And cliffs that greet the crash of sea waters.
I most important, child, I will paint you
As soft grass upon which lovers lie.” 

With grasses rendered,
He threw brushes over his shoulder
And contemplated the image.
Across the lips a smile of satisfaction played.
So to the window,
Looking for daybreak, laughing
He set my portrait flying against the sky cerulean blue.

Copyright jeanne rené 10/04 

 

 

... squirm in your grave

by jeanne rené 

... a poem of man's inhumanity ... a bombing ... at a wedding ... an image of a wedding guest left lifeless in a chair and linen tablecloth placed over his head.  I've never been able to shake the image or the horror of the hatred. 

at the table

the wedding guest
languishes
in celebration
his arm dangles a toast to the times
the glass weeps, purged of its aspirations 
perverted reflections
in the sparkle of shattered desire
and glint of pooling blood
served up in the aftermath
and raised to our perspective
"to life" he cheers

undisturbed at the table
he waits

 ~ to life … to life … to life … to life!

under godly white linens
puckered round the shape of full lips
poised for his turn to kiss the bride
and dance beneath the ballroom canopy
swaying
box-stepping with the rhythm of electrical wires
exposed air ducts
cemented in an irreversible inhale
anxious to daydream in her arms
as they waltz mid the scatter of shard and ashes
"to life" he squeals

from out of the bowels of implausible

"to life, and may you all be left to … "

 

Copyright jeanne rené watson 11.05
Written some time ago ... still applies ...

~a woman's notebook~

 by jeanne rené

Two Women by Marie Laurecin 1883-1956

~a woman’s notebook~

this body mine
permissive
soft you say
fine downy flesh
i invite you
run your fingers over my willow arms
brushing back the silk-thin hair
and watch it fall back into perfection

please excuse this smile amused
as to what makes you think
i actually change my mind

child balanced upon round hips
strong pelvis
this body mine
the builder of men
these hands braced upon my physical fortitude
i invite you in

i paint my lips in shades of mona lisa mystery
and rest patience in my lap
until you see my cast iron bone
and ready bayonet
do not turn your back on me
to find i am the enemy of indifference
and that i strike with the intent of drawing blood

come
come surrender in my arms
sip my honey from swollen ready breast
wipe my tears
and bury yours in my braid cast across a scented pillow
let my body be a warmed coverlet
yours to rest beneath
but remember
i live the night with opened eyes

look upon my profile
follow the roman line of my nose
to once again the fine hair over my lip
and if you give touch to my quiet kiss
you will find the quake that lies deep within the earth

please excuse i stare at your look bewildered
to say only this in passing
~ absent the prerogative
i have had many a foot
placed grossly on my stomach
to hold me to a burial
but i am the loam
i am the rock
i am the fallen leaf
the worm
the brush
and the pregnant seed

to answer your question
the difference is
you do not see how much of a man
i am

~to these fathers, sons and husbands
i see all of me
that you hold inside

~and so it goes
with thoughts from a woman’s notebook~

copyright jeanne rené

 
 
 

~this scent of pine and meditation

 by jeanne rené 

Aside
these boughs twined of firefly lights,
baubles merriment and jubilee,
now lost in the scent of pine and candle wax
I assemble,
my thought
my sense. . . my wit about me

My meditation
impels me,
close my eyes.
Bids me listen
to the thunder . . . a voice soundless.
Commands me
release the hours,
pause and inhale a singular breath

. . . pause and inhale a singular breath.
Know me as I bring your lips to mine,
I release my word and swell your lungs,
in your waking . . . in your slumber.
I am the only current,
at once, the same, high and retiring tide

. . . quiet . . . listen
I am the rise and the descent,
holding nothing from your seasons.
I am ever the seeding,
ever the harvest,
birth and death as one

and duality

. . . quiet
I distinguish no celebration
for I am consistent in my bounty.
I credit nothing to translations,
or tongues,
your histories, or crusades
I am undivided . . .
absolute

. . . wordless
Close your eyes.
Hear,
I am the name of the child gone before you,
after you
and standing beside you. . .
the child whose hand you seek

In my rumination, this Christmas come,
midst song and celebration I find,
. . . in the hush, the whisper of the only breath

You are my primary colors,
the mixing of my forest and heaven,
the paints of my red soil and dazzling sun.
You are the blending of all hues and textures,
the threads of our kente,
the fine stitch of our quilt . . .
the laugh of the baboon,
the leap of the gazelle

And you are . . . simply present,
ever waiting
for us to exhale . . . 

copyright jeanne rené  11/08